#6 Uncover Value in Worthlessness
Taoist antidote to stop worrying: adapt to the impermanence of things and navigate life's complexity through detachment.
Are you constantly worried about things? Do you feel that your life is driven by fear, anxiety, and a sense of uncertainty?
In modern society, we all live a rapid pace of life and constantly deal with necessities in various situations. Society tells us we must perform well in school to secure a stable job. To avoid financial troubles, we stick to the rules and norms in workplaces. We conform to the established codes of behavior in social circles so we can enjoy the company of others because we do not want to be treated as outcasts.
Even if we play along with all the standards, requirements, and rules of the social game, we are still constantly worried and anxious. We assume everything unrelated to our priorities as troubles and disturbances, but we overlook the fundamental truth that a deep sense of worry controls us. This constant worry and associated sentiments, such as emotional turbulence, insecurity, discontent, and a sense of being unfulfilled, can dictate and turn our everyday lives upside down without us knowing how to cope.
In other situations, our worry arises from not getting what we have anticipated or seeing intended outcomes following our actions. For instance, as a new college graduate, you are anxious and excited about getting a job and launching a fulfilling career. To your surprise, the macroeconomic circumstances are in bad shape when you enter the job market. After applying to a few hundred companies, you start worrying about finding a job. Your initial excitement and expectations have diminished. Now, you only look forward to securing a job that pays your bills.
Or, you are working at a decent job and have read the news that a recession is around the corner this year. You start worrying because you must pay the monthly mortgage and support your family. Your friend told you that his company has been firing people lately, and you tell yourself you cannot lose your current job. So, you are already worried and agitated even before terrible things happen.
You will be drawn into unnecessary worries when you lose your calm navigating unpredictable situations. Imagined concerns inside your head will disrupt your ordinary pace in life or even drive you into unforeseeable troubles.
The mystery of life
There is a famous story known in every Chinese family. Once upon a time, there was an old man who had raised a horse in his home. The horse went missing one day, and he could not find it for a few days. His neighbors and friends expressed their regret after hearing this. But he replied that no one could tell if this was good. To their surprise, his neighbors were amazed why he would take this incident with a composed mind.
After some days, the lost horse came back home with another horse. Upon hearing this, a few friends came to congratulate the man. But, again, he said he was unsure if this was a good sign.
The son of the family grew fond of the new horse. So, he started learning how to ride a horse after that. Unfortunately, one day, he fell off the horse and broke his leg while training. This time, the neighbors came to comfort the old man. He responded that no one knows if this is good or bad.
Sometime later, the whole country was involved in a war with another country in the north. So, all the young male members of the village have been summoned to join the army. However, because of his broken leg, the man’s son was spared conscription. He could stay at home with his parents.
This story is a perfect illustration of Lao Tzu’s words,
Disaster is the avenue of fortune,
(And) fortune is the concealment for disaster.
Who would be able to know its ultimate results?
Our perceptions of events and incidents in life can largely affect how we navigate life’s trajectory. In other words, a change in perspective can get us out of being fixated on something beyond our control. For instance, when you lose your job from a company, you can interpret this as a proper exit, which diverts your energy and focus onto something else, perhaps more productive and adventurous, such as starting your own business or collaborating with like-minded friends on some projects that may eventually pay off.
Life is full of wonder and surprises. When we are overly worried about our immediate reality, which draws our attention and energy into a narrow vision, or anxious about achieving specific outcomes, we may not realize that there can be blessings in disguise.
