In this series, we embark on a journey of self-discovery. Drawing on the ancient wisdom of Lao Tzu and Chuang Tzu alongside contemporary research, we’ll uncover timeless truths that guide us through life's confusion and challenges. This series is crafted to be a beacon we can return to whenever we seek clarity or face obstacles.
In the garden east there stands a verdant pine,1
Hidden was its goodly shape by leafy brush and creepers.
Not before the frost had cut them down,
Did its lofty branches burst upon the sight.
None would have seen it in a pine forest,
Alone, admiring wonder it inspires.
I hung up the wine pot on its chilly branch,
On and off into the distance turned my gaze.
In this mirage of a life
Why get entangled in the worldly mesh?
— Tao Yuanming 陶淵明 (365-427 CE)
Most of us living in the modern world are in search mode. Sooner or later, the question will dawn upon us: What is my calling in this life? Before finding the correct answer to our quest, we take on whatever life throws at us and face its random arrangements. But when the moment comes, an inner awakening will be initiated.
Awakening, whether it is triggered by external crises, wake-up calls, or internal transformation through experiences, is a starting position for self-discovery. The assumption of being an awakened individual is that we can recognize the differences of “myself” before and after the moment of awakening.
After this process of cognitive and psychological change, everything familiar becomes somewhat strange. We find that the usual ways of conduct and established habits of looking at things become incompatible with our new perceptions of reality.
To a significant extent, spiritual awakening is like being reborn. You know the feeling of becoming a different person. Nevertheless, what used to define us still finds continuity in our new identity. What if you come to realize that, on a cosmological level, you and every other person are free and independent? And more than that, you have an innate capacity and creativity to develop and transform yourself.
Life by self-design
The idea of designing our own life is unconventional and counterintuitive. Common sense or popular wisdom informs us that we are who we are due to situational influences. Since birth, we have been unavoidably conditioned and shaped by our education systems, family upbringing, the people we are associated with, and social norms and cultures in general.
This line of thinking makes sense partially because it overlooks our individual initiative and creativity. It is based on the assumption that we can only passively accept external influences. It casts doubt on our ability to see things through. It causes us to be paralyzed by a deadly sense of powerlessness in life’s complex situations.
When we recognize that we often see things with our narrow and limited perceptions, we realize that we cannot entirely rely on our own experience. In Taoist thinking, Tao is the source of value judgment due to its liberating and impartial spirit. Since every one of us, after going through a spiritual awakening, can understand and connect with the Tao within, we do not need to subordinate ourselves to external sources for spiritual guidance and dependence.
A practical implication is that we do not need intermediaries like religious or political authority to dictate how we should think and live. Being connected with Tao indicates a possession of inner freedom.
In our everyday lives, we have involuntarily and unconsciously taken in pieces of information and ideas that shape perceptions about our surroundings. What we seldom examine is that some of these information clips and prevailing opinions are artificially manufactured and disseminated randomly. They give us a misrepresentation of the outside world beyond what we are familiar with. Or even worse, they present a distorted version of reality. And we take it for granted without consciously assessing and investigating it.
This is reasonable because not every person is interested in reexamining and reevaluating everything, let alone questioning what is already familiar. So, we can reasonably hypothesize that the more we rely on an automatic response mechanism to deal with continuous challenges in modern life, the more distant we are from being self-aware and inner awakening.
Self-awakening is a moment of epiphany or a gradual realization that we have unconsciously lived in prescribed notions and perspectives imposed on us. Being self-aware requires us to carefully examine the substance of those narratives until we can reconcile them with our reality or break away from their influence and control on us.
Illusions and reality
In modern society, we are bound by complex and interconnected social relations and interactions across spaces and time. Society, to a large extent, is an organic system. For a system to function and sustain, there must be some structures, rules, and norms that shape the behaviors of the people residing in it.
Most of us already find it time-consuming to understand how society works. Naturally, we choose to draw attention within. We focus on what is easily obtainable and possible, such as making a living for ourselves and our families, consuming available entertainment and cultural activities, and mingling with like-minded people. There is nothing wrong with these ways of living. Our individual choices are responses to perceived realities.
It also does not matter if you are told that you are fundamentally a product of a consumer society. Most people have no problem with this reality, so why bother thinking and acting differently?
On an existential level, it is unavoidable that most of us have lived as cogs in an organization, an institution, or the larger system. We believe this is reasonable and acceptable because everyone else has no issue with the usual and conventional way of life. So, we pretend to have reached a “harmony” between the outside world and the inner self.
Suppose you have been interacting with people in a particular society and culture and find their access to available information on the outside world is controlled and filtered. As a result, they cannot avoid being trapped in an enclosed worldview and value system. If you were to persuade them with a diverse range of alternative perspectives about any topic, they would appreciate you as a source of information provider, on the positive side. But, you will most likely fail to reach mutual understanding because you all have attachments that are deeply intertwined with your hopes, habits, struggles, memories, desires, emotions, and vested interests.
Going through the process of self-awakening is the precondition for us to fully embrace our natural endowment, which requires us to confront what society has imposed on us.
But most of us lose our sense of self when we grow up. We either unconsciously follow what is popular, conventional, and trendy, or we are forced to accept what is socially applicable without standing up for ourselves. In this sense, self-awakening indicates a returning journey of discovering and regaining our individuality.
Whoever tries to convince us of this or that particular narrative is a dream-maker. And if we do not question those crafted narratives, we succumb to their hypnotizing spell. This is the predicament we live in before we awaken to reality. If we do not see this, we risk becoming dream walkers joyfully enjoying the spectacles presented to us by those grand dreams. When we are still in the dreams, we do not listen to contrarian opinions and get defensive when our identity, which is merged with the inserted dreams and narratives, is questioned. And we all have been through such a period of blind engagement and wandering joy on our journeys.
Dreams and reality can be remotely connected, yet we can hardly distinguish them while we single-mindedly defend our own versions of reality. Chuang Tzu reminds us of the surreal experience of living in dreams without seeing through our bewilderment,
He who dreams of drinking wine may weep when morning comes; he who dreams of weeping may in the morning go off to hunt. While he is dreaming, he does not know it is a dream, and in his dream, he may even try to interpret a dream. Only after he wakes does he know it was a dream. And someday there will be a great awakening when we know that this is all a great dream. Yet the stupid believe they are awake, busily and brightly assuming they understand things….2
Awakening to face reality and rediscover our own selves is challenging because we are so attached to familiarities: the stories we tell ourselves, the experiences we have accumulated, and the emotional connection fostered between those experiences and our identities.
What is the difference between a dream and a perceived reality? Why do I have to “wake up” from my reality, where I feel comfortable and relaxed? How do I know “the other reality” is not false? How do I know being awakened is more suitable for my life?
The answer lies within every person. However, the thought of questioning the differences between this reality as a dream and an alternative reveals that doubt is already lingering in the mind.
For the awakened individual, there is no way to return to your previous dreams because you know your soul will be unsettled and struggling in a “reality” crafted by a dubious narrative, no matter how sophisticated and truthful it appears to be.
Questions to reflect
What personal experiences or moments have led to your own spiritual awakening or shifts in perspective? How did these moments change your understanding of reality and yourself?
In what ways do you feel society has influenced or shaped your identity? Have you ever questioned or broken away from these influences to rediscover your true self?
How do you differentiate between dreams and reality in your own life? Do you believe it is possible to fully awaken to a higher understanding, or is some level of “dreaming” necessary for contentment?
Translator’s note: Symbol of fortitude. “Brush and creepers” in the second line are held to suggest vile social creepers. See Yuanming, Tao. The Complete Works of Tao Yuanming, ed. and trans. Tan Shilin (Hong Kong: Joint Publishing Co, 1992), 63.
Burton Watson, “Discussion on Making All Things Equal,“ inThe Complete Works of Zhuangzi (New York: Columbia University Press, 2013), 16.
Interesting! Also a worthy aspiration! Curious to learn how you calm yourself by dissolving. Is it via meditation, regular time to be alone? I can relate with what you are saying about striving and the chasing. With that, it can’t be helped that I get the empty “so what” feeling after getting what I want.
I believe that this has a lot to do with how we have been conditioned since young as social beings with expectations all around. How we have been parented, the school system etc.
The Diamond Sutra quote reminds me of Plato’s allegory of the cave! :)
Profound! Also thinking of layers of dreams. Awakening at different points in life - is this possible? What you have consciously chosen at a certain point in life earlier but no longer serves you right now?